The Present Moment

The teachings of Eckhart Tolle changed my life in a profound way.  Here are three principles that can begin to loosen your attachment to the ego and mind-made suffering....Present moment awareness is the foundation of spiritual liberation, and can free you from the grip of the ego. The more you remain present, the greater connection you will feel to life around you, and to your essential nature. As you are reading this, pause for a moment and look out into the room. Ask yourself, “what will be my next thought?” And as you wait, notice the stillness that exists in the gap of silence…

This presence, devoid of thought, is who you are. This pure consciousness, pure awareness, unattached to any thoughts or stories about yourself or life, is who you are in your essence. But the experience of your true nature can only be felt here and now. Once a thought about the future or past arises, you begin to lose awareness of your essential nature here and now. The practice is to continually loosen your attachment to your thoughts as a wholly accurate interpretation of reality, and instead, experience the truth of who you are in this moment.

This does not mean that you stop using your mind altogether. Instead, you (as conscious awareness) begin using your mind with greater discernment, choosing when and how to use your thoughts to create your experience. The first step, however, is to learn to quiet the mind and return to the present moment. Why is the present moment so important? Because this is where life is happening. Have you ever existed anywhere other than in the present moment? What you may realize is that every experience you have ever had has taken place in the present moment. And you may also notice that it is your level of presence that determines the quality of your moment-to-moment experience, which, in turn, creates the overall quality of your life.

The mind often becomes distracted by the future or past, believing that it can prepare for future events by thinking. And while some thinking and preparation may be required for planning a project, taking a trip, or working out the logistics of future events, the majority of thinking about the future or the past is not only pointless, but actually prevents you from taking appropriate action when it is necessary to do so. The psychological angst created by obsessing over the past or future drains your energy and causes confusion in the mind and energy field.

Let go of thinking about the future or the past, and instead, simply focus on what you can do here and now. Stay aware and alert of what is required of you in this present moment. All other steps will be made known to you in the appropriate time. It takes focus and discipline to continually bring your attention back to the present moment, and it will likely be a lifelong practice. The more you can remain present, however, the more you will witness profound shifts in the quality of your life.

The Power of Non-Attachment

Practice non-attachment to your thoughts, dropping them one by one as they arise in your mind. When a label or judgment arises, let it go and come back to the present moment. See what it is like to experience life without labels. You don’t need the label or concept about reality when you can directly experience it for yourself. Judgments and labels only get in the way. Yes, you may need to give a label to something for practical purposes, but you can do so without attachment to it. Do not believe for a minute that the words you have used to describe something actually fully represent the greater reality of what that thing is. This goes for objects, places, experiences, as well as the nature of other people. Just because a person is exhibiting a personality trait in this moment, does not mean it is who they are.

Do not become attached to any thought that your mind creates. Instead, stay open, alert, and present, observing what is actually happening around you, without needing to conceptually understand or interpret life events. As you practice non-attachment to your own thoughts, you may notice that you begin to let go of attachment in many areas of your life; relationships, material possessions, and work and living situations. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily let them go from your life, but rather, you let go of your attachment to them. The things of life come and go, and by practicing non-attachment you can enjoy the ride without obsessing over, holding onto, or pushing anything away. Through this practice you can finally let go of the psychological angst that is created through trying to hold onto or control the elements of your life.

Simply notice thoughts as they arise which relate to trying to hold onto something in your life; “I really want to say the right thing to my partner so he or she knows how much I love them;” “I need to make sure everything goes perfect at work today;” “I really hope I get that promotion at work.” Really, why? Why not trust that everything in your life is playing out exactly as it should, and that there is a bigger picture of your life than your mind could ever understand? When one thing leaves your life (a relationship, job, or material possession, for instance) it creates space for something new to enter. And it is the Higher Intelligence that each of us is a part of and connected to, that guides us towards just what we need to experience for our growth. Without this natural flow of giving and receiving we would never grow or evolve, and life would become pretty boring.  When I first began my practice as a spiritual counselor, I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's material non-stop, and practicing letting go of attachment in many areas of my life, which all helped me change my life for the better.  

The Power of Non-Reaction

One of the most effective ways to dissolve the ego in yourself and others is through non-reaction. The ego is not who you are, and it is not who the other person is. When you see the ego operating in yourself or another, choose to look beyond it. Make the conscious choice not to react against the ego, and instead, hold compassion for the other person and yourself. This may take practice, but I have found no better way to transcend the ego than this method of non-reaction.

The ego is fear-based illusion, and any action taken against the ego only perpetuates the illusion of separation. Why push against something that is not real? The only motivation to “do something” about it comes from the belief that it is real and that you have to take action against it. All that is required is for you to become aware of the ego, and then refrain from energizing it through reaction. Simply stay in a non-reactive state. The voice in your mind may be running a mile a minute with thoughts about the situation, but you can keep returning your attention to the present moment, without buying into any of those thoughts.

Focus on the humanity you feel in yourself and within others. Focus on the glimmer of light coming from others, even when the ego seems all-pervasive. Choose to remain present and neutral instead of believing any thoughts about yourself or the other person. In this way we each have the potential to be vehicles for transformation, allowing more conscious awareness into our own lives, and the lives of others.

The Power of Non-Judgment

The mind often identifies negative aspects about situations or people, and then goes about defending its position by looking for “evidence” that validates the judgment. This is the power of our thoughts in the process of shaping our experience of reality. Once we make a judgment, we set into motion a filtering of our own perceptions of reality based on what we expect to see. Our perceptions become focused on all the negative aspects associated with the judgmental thought, and so the mind undoubtedly finds the “evidence” it is looking for. Belief systems are like self-fulfilling prophecies in this way, and when you are attached to the thoughts in your mind, every judgment is accurate as far as the mind is concerned. Underlying every judgment, however, is non-acceptance in some form. When a person has yet to accept some aspect of themselves, this inner resistance is often projected outward in the form of judgments or negativity.

A clear example of this would be the subjugation of women that has occurred over the last few thousand years in most cultures around the world. The reason for this repression is that many people have yet to fully accept and integrate their own feminine nature. If you’ve ever spent time with someone displaying misogynistic tendencies, you may have noticed a distinct lack of feminine qualities within them, such as empathy, receptivity, gentleness, or compassion. It would be clear to see that this person has yet to accept their own feminine energy due to fear or ignorance, projecting this lack of self-love outward towards women through negativity or abuse. And collectively, most societies are still working towards bringing greater love and acceptance to the divine feminine aspects of creation, which is why we still see a predominately male dominated world (although this is now changing).

So whenever you find that you are either judging yourself, another person, or life circumstances, take the time to go within and notice where you may still be holding negativity or resistance towards yourself. Are there aspects of yourself that you are repressing or in denial of? Are there parts of yourself that you continue to withhold love and acceptance for? Take the time to investigate what core beliefs, thoughts and values may be reinforcing this state of non-acceptance, and be willing to let them go once you identify them.

By letting go of judgments we offer ourselves the opportunity to actually learn and grow from life situations, rather than become calcified in a rigid belief system. And when you let go of judgments of others, you hold them in a more loving light, allowing them to learn and grow as well. If your experience with another person has caused you heartache and suffering, be grateful for what you have learned through your time with them. Your suffering has caused you to strengthen your commitment to create more uplifting and positive relationships in your life, to embody your power more fully, and to live in a more loving way.  When I first began my practice as a spiritual counselor, I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's material non-stop, and practicing letting go of judgments in many areas of my life, which all helped me change my life for the better.

For other blog posts, such as how to heal codependency, check out this link